The Hunchback of Neiman Marcus by Sonya Sones

The Hunchback of Neiman Marcus: A Novel About Marriage, Motherhood, and Mayhem
by Sonya Sones
Harper, 2011
420 pages
source: borrowed

In a nutshell:
The Hunchback of Neiman Marcus is a coming-of-middle-age story told in verse.

My thoughts:
Holly is turning 50, sending her only child off to college, and desperately trying write a book. She's also dealing with wildly fluctuating hormones, an empty nest, an aging mother in the midst of a health crisis, editorial deadlines, and a husband who may or may not be fooling around. And that's just for starters.

Under normal circumstances I wouldn't consider reading a novel in verse, but The Hunchback of Neiman Marcus came with Sandy's personal assurance that I'd love it - and Sandy has never steered me wrong. Every woman of 'a certain age' will be able to identify with at least some of the issues Holly faces. You may even find yourself asking "Could she be writing about my life?"

This book is well-suited to the busy month of December.  It reads quickly - perfect for several short bursts, or you can read the entire novel in a sitting or two. One cautionary note: Be careful where you read it. You may burst out in laughter in inappropriate places or, like me, cry while waiting in the dentist's office.

Favorite poems:

HOW DO U NO WHEN UR OLD?

Well, you are old
if you had trouble understanding
the title of this poem.

You are old
if you have no idea who that person is
who's hosting Saturday Night Live.

You are old
if before you head off
on your morning run

you find yourself
tucking your husband's
cell phone number in your pocket

so that the paramedics
will know
who to call.


AFTER WE KISS SAMANTHA GOODNIGHT

Michael and I watch her
skip off down the sidewalk
with her new roommates,

the four of them already a unit,
their bursts of laughter floating back to us
as they disappear around a corner,

happier
than a litter
of leashless pups.

Then, the two of us
head out into the night,
hand in silent hand,

to find
the nearest
liquor store.



MARRIAGE IS A FIRE

First it burns with desire,
with uncontrolled lust.

You touch each other
and you combust.

But if no one remembers
to stir the embers,

to feed them, poke them,
tend them, stoke them,

the blaze that once sizzled
will sputter and fizzle.

Which is why
I always say:

thank the Lord
for lingerie.

And take a look at this poem:
(click to enlarge)

My rating:

Bottom Line:
As Sandy would say, "You've GOTTA read this!"